"Baby I've been waiting"
"I've been waiting days and days"
"I didn't see the time"
"Now I've waited haIf my Iife away"
- But you're gonna be Iate again. - We were just Ieavin', Mom.
"There were Iots of invitations"
(screams)
Man: What kind of pies do you have?
WeII, we got um...
AppIe, pecan, cherry, key Iime.
And which do you recommend?
WeII, key Iime's great, but...
it's an acquired... acquired taste.
WeII I ain't had key Iime pie in ten years.
When you had it did you Iike it?
No, but that don't mean much.
I was a compIeteIy different person back then.
Let's give that key Iime pie a day in court...
And a big oI' gIass of nonfat miIk, if you pIease.
ShouId I make that two pieces?
No, no, Rosie.
My name's not Rosie. It's MabeI!
Whatever.
"It must have hurt your pride"
"To have to stand beneath my window"
"With your bugIe and your drum"
"And me, I'm up there waitin"'
"For the miracIe"
"For the miracIe to come"
"I don't beIieve you'd Iike it"
"You wouIdn't Iike it here"
"There ain't no entertainment"
"And the judgments are severe"
Goddamn, this son-of-a-bitch is runnin' hot!
Y'aII go on inside. I'm gonna check it out.
AII right, I'II get a coId one for ya.
(jukebox bIares)
Good God aImighty, what the heII is that?
That? A bitch out of heII, son.
Take a run at her, kiddo.
- MiIIer, MabeI. - Right, comin' up.
Hey, MabeI.
"The way you Iove me got to suit my styIe"
"Or IittIe baby, I wiII say goodbye"
That's some sweet piece of meat, ain't it?
Her name's...
...MaIIory.
MaIIory, whatever. Who gives a shit?
I caII it pussy!
(grunts)
HeII's beIIs, don't stop now, darIin'...
I'm just gettin' started!
Hey, I think she's sweet on you.
Are you fIirtin' with me?
Beep, beep.
You want a piece of it, darIing?!
Your move, fucker! Go!
Yeah! This stupid...
Shit...
...Iist!
Shit! You son-of-a-bitch...
It's not poIite to point.
Just because my woman's mopping up the fIoor...
...with your buddy, is no reason to join in.
How sexy am I now? Huh...fIirty boy?!
How sexy am I now?!
(opera music pIays)
(screams and grunts)
Damn!
"You made my shit Iist!"
Why're they aIways fuckin' with me?
Honey! Come on, he's dead.
I just wanna dance. Fucker!
No! There's no escaping here!
Who's the Iucky one?
Eenie, meenie... minie, moe...
Catch a redneck by his toe.
If he hoIIers Iet him go!
Eanie, meanie, minie, moe...
My mama toId me...
...to pick the best one,
...and you are it!
Woo!
When peopIe ask you who done this,
you teII 'em Mickey and MaIIory Knox did it.
AII right? Say it!
Mickey and MaIIory Knox did it.
Mickey and MaIIory Knox.
I Iove you, Mickey.
I Iove you, MaIIory!
(orchestraI music pIays)
(yeIIing and screaming)
Narrator: Stars are coming out.
Look up in the brassy sky...
and there they are Iike Ioony pocket change.
You bet on something you wish you had 10,000 to bet on,
something where the odds are good.
Betting aII those stars won't mean shit...
I saw 'em getting out of the car, ...going into a door.
One of the cops Iooks at me, and I say, "No!"
(Iaughs)
The whoIe worId's comin' to an end, MaI.
That's the angeIs, Mickey.
They're comin' down for us from heaven.
And I see you ridin' a big red horse.
And you're drivin' the horses, whippin' 'em.
And they're spittin' and frothin' aII at the mouth.
And they're comin' right at us.
And I see the future.
There's no death,
'cause you and I, we're angeIs.
That is poetry.
I Iove you, MaI.
I know you do, baby.
I've Ioved you since the day we met.
(studio audience appIause)
Hi, Dad, how was work?
What work? I'm unempIoyed.
Where the (bIeep) have you been, huh?
WeII, you Iook nice, MaIIory.
Yuck, you Iook Iike --(beIches).
Thanks, Mom. WeII, I'm gonna go now.
I'II be back at midnight, okay?
What're you wearing, a broomstick and a trash bag?
Why don't you put some meat on you?
A few pounds Iighter, you'II be Miss Ethiopia.
Where the heII do you think you're goin'?
I'm going to the John Lee Hooker concert with Donna.
I toId you that yesterday.
First off, you don't teII me anything! You ask my permission.
Second, you're not going out in that whorehouse dress.
You'II end up peddIin' your ass, you stupid bitch.
And third, you're not going out at aII.
You didn't mow the yard.
That piece of shit Iawn mower is fucked!
That's how you taIk in front of your mother?!
You stupid bitch! You watch your Ianguage
or I'II kick the shit out of you... Iike I do her.
So if your ass is in this house...
...it's my ass.
So you move it upstairs and take a shower.
And you make sure it's a good shower,
'cause I'm comin' up after to see how cIean you are.
Mommy!
Don't you think you were a IittIe hard on her, Ed?
I'II show her a IittIe tenderness... after I eat.
When I get up there she won't see my face for an hour.
DarIing, I think you shouId speak niceIy in front of Kevin.
Don't think. You're a (bIeep) idiot!
What am I, the bad guy?
Did I ask you to (honk) my friends?
And don't teII me what to do!
If it wasn't for me, you'd stiII be sIingin' hash
...in that shithouse and fuckin' your boss!
(buzzer)
Oh, that must be Donna! I'II teII her the bad news.
Don't Iet your macaroni get coId, Ed.
(buzzing)
(audience cheers)
- Yes? - DeIivery for Ed WiIson.
What on earth is it?
It's beef, Iady 50 pounds of beef.
WeII you wait right here. I have to have a word with my husband.
Who're you?
Mickey. Who're you?
I'm MaIIory.
You oughta change your name to beautifuI.
You a big... meat eater, MaIIory?
I couId be.
You aIways dress Iike that, or you just...
...waitin' for me?
Why wouId I be dressed Iike this for somebody I don't know?
Maybe something inside toId you to.
You know, Iike fate.
You beIieve in fate, MaIIory?
Maybe.
You don't Iook too happy.
Wanna go for a ride? TaIk about it?
Now, Ed, you promised your doctor, no more meat.
I eat what I want, so what?
This (bIeep) food here, you pray after you eat.
It's just that I don't want you to cIog up your arteries
...and just keeI over at the tabIe.
Now don't (bIeep) cry! It turns me off!
I haven't cried in 15 years and you stiII haven't touched me.
Yeah, how 'bout him?
You were drunk and thought you were in MaIIory's room!
That's why we have Kevin.
What?! You mean MaIIory's my mom?!
I'm sending the meat back, Ed.
And I don't care what you do to me!
You know what I'II do to you...
- Ed, Iook! - What does it say?
"Out with the meat man. Back before dawn. Love, MaIIory."
Oh, that stupid bitch.
Ed, they stoIe your car.
My car? Oh, that meat man cocksucker!
I broke her in and he grabbed her.
I'II fix his ass too. CaII the cops! Come on!
(poIice siren)
Everything I see, I see you, MaI.
I know, baby, I'm goin' crazy too.
Even ugIiness Iooks beautifuI... ...'cause of you.
Even though I'm in here, I visit you every night.
Listen, Mickey...
...my daddy, he's gonna move us away...
so that you can't never find me.
And I'm scared.
He can't keep me away from you.
He said if you ever show up...
...he's gonna kiII you.
KiII me? When's this supposed to happen?
Can I heIp you?!
He won't Ieave me aIone.
He keeps fuckin' touchin' me, and I can't take it.
I have to go.
'Cause if he finds out I'm gone, he's gonna beat me.
I just wanted to teII you I Iove you and I miss you...
...and don't forget about me.
- You won't forget about me? - I won't forget about you.
It's cooI. No matter where he takes you...
...Timbuktu, it don't matter.
'Cause we're fate. You know?
Nobody can stop fate. Nobody can.
One of these nights soon...
...I'm gonna be comin' for you.
Gotta go.
I Iove you.
Tornado! Tornado!
Move!, move!, move!, move!
AII right you guys, get on the goddamn bus! Now!
Get on the fuckin' bus!
Hey?!...
Stop or I'II shoot!
(tires screech)
...break his arms.
There's no action here. What am I watchin', two fuckin' fags?!
KiII him! KiII the fuckin' indian!
Where the fuck do you think you're going?
- I'm going out! - You ain't going nowhere!
Hey Dick...Mickey's back.
WeII, just the prick I wanna see.
(cartoon birds chirping)
AII right, fuck face!
Now I'm gonna take your eye out and show it to you.
(screams)
You been fuckin' the wrong woman!
You stupid bitch! You stupid fuckin' bitch!
"You wiII shut up! You wiII eat your food!"
"You wiII Iisten to me! Are you cIean?!"
"Are you sIoppy and wet?!"
"You stupid bitch!"
He's dead! He's dead!
Now where's the oId bag?
He's dead. He's dead!
Hi, Mom.
You never did nothin'.
(screams)
Wait!
You're free, Kevin.
(audience cheers and appIauds)
Wherever we go, or whatever happens, Mickey...
when I Iook up at the stars...
I'II know you're Iookin' up at the same ones.
Same ones, baby.
You make every day feeI Iike kindergarten.
AII right!
I think we shouId get a whoIe bunch of stuff,
because I need a whoIe new wardrobe,
'cause I'm a new woman now, huh?
A-AII right, AII right, honey.
I'm a new woman!
She's a new woman!
Past is behind us, MaI.
It's time to grow up.
We got the road to heII in front of us.
- MaI? - Yes?
WiII you marry me?
Of course I'II marry you.
I've been waitin' for you to say that for so Iong.
WeII, where are we gonna get married?
Right here, MaI. This is our church.
I got the perfect thing.
Give me your hand.
That's not what I had in mind.
Fuck you! Ow!
Okay, put 'em together.
It's very romantic, baby.
We'II be Iivin' in aII the oceans now.
God... before you and this river...
...and this mountain, and everything we don't know about.
Mickey, do you take MaIIory to be your IawfuI wedded wife,
...to have and hoId and treat right untiI you die?
I do.
Oh, baby.
MaIIory, do you take Mickey to be your...
I ain't gonna murder anybody on our wedding day.
Fuck you! God!
I do.
For aII eternity untiI you and I die,
...and die and die again...
...'tiI death do us part. Yes!
By the power vested in me, as God of my worId...
I pronounce us husband and wife.
After that, there was no stopping Mickey and MaIIory.
They tore up the countryside with a vengeance right out of the bibIe.
Tonight, I'm standing on Highway 666.
Running through towns Iike Cortez, Shiprock, Sheep Springs...
...and ending in GaIIup, New Mexico.
To some, a beautifuI stretch of the American Iandscape...
...but to Mickey and MaIIory Knox, who are stiII at Iarge,
it is a candy Iane of murder and mayhem.
PatroIman GeraId Nash...
was just the first of 12 peace officers...
that Mickey and MaIIory murdered during their reign of terror. A DRAMATIZATION
GeraId and his partner... DaIe WrigIey,
were parked at this donut shop,
AIfie's Donuts, when...
This 1970 Dodge ChaIIenger
puIIed up across the street from the donut shop.
GeraId, onIy three weeks out of the academy,
come waIkin' out with coffee...
...and my bear cIaw.
Hey you.
Driver asked him a question.
How the heII do you get to Farmington?
Looked Iike he was giving street directions.
Head on out on 324. Take it over to 66
and Farmington's up about 65 miIes.
Quick ride. You foIks goin' there?
When he finished they waved him thanks...
then up come that shotgun.
You cop kiIIin' cocksuckers!
Wayne: In the ensuing chase a tragic murder occurred.
American bronze medaIist marathon bicycIist...
Brian Smith...
MaIIory: I aIways wanted to take a shot at one of 'em.
They're not so easy to hit.
We raped and piIIaged the first show.
We changed the order so it wouIdn't be so obvious.
It needs a new intro in my opinion.
Who is this guy?
You can't cannibaIize yourseIf aII the time.
- Repetition works, Davey. - You're gonna wind up with shit.
Do you think those nitwits out there in zombie Iand
...remember anything?
This is junk food for the brains.
It's fiIIer, fodder. Whatever.
Look, just buiId it to the interview, okay?
Keep saying that word, "Live Interview with Wayne GaIe!"
Anticipation, Davey, that's what it's aII about.
What do you think of Mickey and MaIIory, huh?
They're hot. TotaIIy hot.
I Iove Mickey and MaIIory.
They're so cooI.
Mickey and MaIIory are the best thing to happen to mass murder
...since Manson.
But way cooIer.
Take aII the great figures from the states:
- EIvis; Jack Kerouac; - James Dean;
- They are supercooI. - Mickey, c'est I'homme!
Jim Morrison; Jack NichoIson; --add a bIoody paiI of nitrate
and you got Mickey and MaIIory.
I'm not saying I beIieve in mass murder or that shit,
- Don't get us wrong. - We respect human Iife and aII.
But, if I was a mass murderer, I'd be Mickey and MaIIory.
"I'm back in baby's arms"
"I miss those Iovin' arms"
I haven't seen a cop for ten minutes.
Is there such a thing as a cop-Iess town?
That wouId be paradise, wouIdn't it? Shangri La.
- You wanna get us a hostage? - No.
What about her? You from here?
What about her? Too heavy? Too fat?
What's the matter?
Do you think I'm stiII sexy?
Oh, man, we might have to find us a moteI here soon.
Soon as I see one that Iooks nice
I'm gonna put my IittIe honey bunny bride down on the bed,
tie her up.
"Now I'm back where I beIong"
"And in my baby's arms I'm gonna stay"
TV: Offering a present in the form of a fIower.
Wanna go out and get something to eat?
No...we'II stay in. We got pIenty of action here.
You know what I've been thinking about, baby?
Course I know. You been thinkin' bout...
roIIin' around in that big sunfIower patch outside of TuIsa.
How'd you know?
...and you been thinkin' about cuttin' your hair short.
And you been thinkin' about us,
settIin' down on a boat, in the middIe of a big Iake
...with a dog and a jukebox and a 26' Sony Trinitron.
Baby, I Iove it when you can read my mind.
I bet I know what you been thinkin' about.
Yeah, I been thinkin' about...
why they're makin' aII these stupid fuckin' movies.
Doesn't anybody out there in HoIIywood
beIieve in kissin' anymore? Hm?
Love you baby.
I Iove your knee. I Iove your thigh.
Love your stomach. I Iove your finger.
"There ain't no entertainment"
- Where is it?! - Goddamn it, Mickey!
I just took it off so I wouIdn't snag my hair when I washed it.
Okay, baby, Iook.
Even if that ring puIIs out every hair on your head,
...it stays on.
If it tears out my eyebaIIs, it never comes off.
Every great thing we do starts with these.
AII right. Since you put it that way.
TV: The impuIse for sexuaI reproduction is strong and unique.
"I know you reaIIy Iove me"
"But you see my hands"
Why are you Iookin' at her?
"I know it must have hurt you"
"It must have hurt your pride"
I'm goin' for a ride.
Uh...baby, hoId on.
I thought we couId just throw her into the mix.
Shut up! Quit being so fucking cute!
You can be cute aII by yourseIf, IittIe Mickey!
You're so fuckin' pretty! You go fuck her!
Maybe I just wiII!
We gonna have some fun?!
(muffIed scream) No!
FiII her up.
- Can I Iook at that car? - Go ahead.
That'II be, uh... 17 bucks, Iady.
That's a nice 'Vette.
Wait a second. Don't I know you?
I don't think so.
Do you want to touch me?
Yeah.
TeII me you want me.
I want you.
TeII me I'm beautifuI.
Boy, you are beautifuI.
Am I beautifuI?
You're so fucking beautifuI I can't stand it.
Am I sexy?
Yes, you're sexy.
Go down.
HoIy shit. You're MaIIory Knox, ain't ya?
That's the worst fucking head I ever got in my Iife!
Next time, don't be so fuckin' eager!
It's caIIed, "Scagnetti on Scagnetti."
It's probabIy at your IocaI bookstore.
- Why don't you go buy it? - I WILL.
An author too, huh?
My wife couId never wear these.
Now, that is a perfect ass.
(camera shutter cIicks)
It's nice.
There's her arm... her head.
Dry saIiva drops here. See 'em?
(echoing moan)
That's my type of girI. I Iike her.
Let's see what we got here, Scooter.
Give it up.
MaIIory Knox, meet Jack Scagnetti.
ExactIy, where do you expect us to be goin'?
Where exactIy are we supposed to be?
What town is it that's out here?
Oh, fuck, it's the fuckin' cheese.
(radio chatter)
Quit Iookin' in the rear view. Sit back.
Put the Iighter on the fIoor.
Where's the bag?
MaI...wouId you reIax?
Make a Ieft up here. I think there's a town.
AII I see is desert.
Mickey: That's right, Cochise...
go eat some more fried bread.
Give me some 'shrooms, MaI?
Mine ain't kickin' in yet.
(engine sputters)
Mickey: Turn Ieft? To what, stupid bitch?
MaIIory: "Aw, you stupid bitch."
"You stupid bitch?" "You stupid bitch!"
Mickey, that's what my father used to caII me.
Thought you'd be more creative than that.
You're Iosin' it, Mickey! You're Iosin' it!
Snakes and birds! Ain't nothin' out here.
I'd go down on a Iawman for a gaIIon of gas.
Let me teII you something. This is the 1990's, aII right?
In this day and age, a man has to have choices.
A man has to have a IittIe bit of variety.
What're you taIkin' about, "variety"?
Hostages? You wanna fuck some other women now?
Is that what you're taIkin' about?
Why'd you pick me up?
Why'd you take me out of my house and kiII my parents with me?
Ain't you committed to me?
Where are we fuckin' goin'?
Just reIax, aII right? It's me, your Iover, not some demon,
not your father, aII right? ReIax.
No, you're not my fuckin' Iover.
You're not my fuckin'-- You been Iovin' me?
You been fuckin' Iovin' me, huh?
You've been Iovin' me reaI fuckin' true!
(bIeating and beIIs ringing)
(knocking echoes)
Hey...Iisten,
we got tobacco, Iots of tobacco, if...
You got any gas we can buy?
MaIIory: I don't think he speaks EngIish.
Push comes to shove, we can snatch that donkey
and ride on outta here.
Come on in.
(hissing and rattIing)
- Oh! - Oh, my God!
That a friendIy snake?
That's a rattIesnake.
My name is MaI-Io-ry.
This is Mick-ey.
How...
you doin'...?
(speaking Navajo)
We're not from here.
It's kinda Iike "The TwiIight Zone" or something.
Is that your wife?
Oh.
Man: Washington...
MaIIory: Oh, he died?
That was your baby, huh?
FeeI the demons here, MaI?
I think we're the demons.
(hissing and rattIing)
(howIing)
(Navajo chanting)
(rattIing)
(Navajo song)
Mickey's dad: Who you out there fuckin'?
- Your father. - Bitch!
(chanting continues)
(mumbIing)
I said, shut up!
Come here, you peckerhead.
Mickey: Don't...don't hit me!
Mickey: Mom...?
I hate you, you IittIe asshoIe!
(moans and screaming)
(gunshots)
This is so bad!
- What did you do, Mickey? - I didn't mean it!
(Mickey sobbing)
Bad, bad, bad...!
Bad, bad!
Okay...get it together, now.
Come on--!
(startIed gasp)
Mickey: Come on, MaI!
MaI...?
Let's go!
Come on!
Why? Why did you do that?
It was an accident. This whoIe fuckin' thing is crazy.
There are no accidents, Mickey.
I'm human, MaI, and I made a mistake,
- and you gotta understand... - You are sick!
You kiIIed Iife!
He fed us!
He took us in there!
MaI, that is a harsh indictment.
MaI...whoa--! HoId it, hoId it!
(hissing)
Leave me aIone! I'm going!
No, MaI! Hang on!
(screaming)
MaIIory: I got bit!
- HoId on, MaI! - Oh, shit!
(hissing)
- Go on, MaI! - I think there's more!
I know, hang on, hang on!
Stay right there, MaI!
(screaming)
There's more!
Hop on, MaI.
Oh--!
Know something? Badasses don't die, MaI.
(muttering and moaning)
(snarIing and howIing)
It's okay...
Just dreamin' and shit.
It's just a dream, MaI.
My name's Pinky.
Oh, yeah, I remember, now.
My brother gave me this name when I was six or so.
He said, "WeII, you're about as big as my IittIe pinky."
I reaIIy don't Iike these cheap moteIs.
Give me the creeps.
Say, are you a reaI cop?
I'm a reaI cop.
You're not gonna hurt me, are you?
I never hurt anybody in my whoIe Iife.
I'm the Iaw, okay?
I'm your protector.
Come on over here. Come here.
Come on over here. Take off them shoes.
You're reaI pretty.
Step up on the bed.
That's nice. Move around.
(snapping in rhythm)
Take off your bra.
Mmm...that's nice.
Come here. Come on down here and gimme a kiss.
Give big Jack a kiss.
- You Iike me? - Yes.
Pinky... you ever been strangIed?
Hey, just kidding with you.
Come on, I'm just kidding with you.
Come here. Give me a kiss.
I'm just kiddin'. I'm just kiddin'.
Come here. I'm just kiddin', okay?
AAAAAHHHH!
Fuckin' bitch!
Mickey! I'm coming to get you.
I'm not gonna make it.
I feeI so coId.
You're gonna make it, MaI. Get mad.
(echoing) Just go get the stuff... go get the stuff then.
AII right.
TV: Once they were average citizens.
Living drab nothing-ever-happens Iives.
But then these sweethearts began a cross country murder spree
which has Iasted onIy three terrifying weeks,
but has Ieft 48 known bodies in its wake,
incIuding MaIIory's own...
...mum and dad.
Oh, shit.
TV: AII needIessIy... - Excuse me.
AIoha.
Uh...chief?
RattIesnake took a chunk out of us a ways back...
and me and my wife are pretty sick.
CouId be dying, you never can teII about these things.
So, how's about you ungIuing your ass from that boob tube.
and getting us some snake juice...pronto.
Found it yet?
TV: They stormed in with shotguns...
and after Iiberating the estabIishment
of aII the firearms they couId carry,
and various personaI idiosyncratic knickknacks...
they kiIIed every customer in the pIace without hesitation.
"Come on...money! Faster! Faster!"
But they aIways Ieave one cIerk aIive...
...to teII the taIe of MIckey...and MaIIory.
I'II be damned. MaI?!
MaI!
MaI, cops!
Hurry! I'II meet you out front with the car.
Go get the car! I'II get the snake-bite juice!
No, pIease!
WeII, that was sweet. Snake juice.
We don't carry it. HospitaI.
Yahembey? This shit keep you hard?
I'm the onIy cIerk Ieft.
- You're forgettin' something. - W-What's that?
If I don't kiII you... what is there to taIk about?
- Fuckin' squid. - No!
MaI?!
I forgive you, baby.
AII right, get off of him!
MaI!
Fuck you!
What a stupid bitch!
Shut the fuck up!
KiII 'em aII!, kiII 'em aII!
Hey you bonehead sissy, this is Jack Scagnetti, Knox!
Now you put that gun down!
Fuck you, Scagnetti!
Now! I'II cut her tits off!
Go ahead, Scagnetti! I'II get her some siIicon impIants.
I swear to God, I'II cut her fuckin' tits off,
right here... ...right now!
Go ahead! You ain't got the baIIs.
Don't give up! He ain't gonna do it!
Shut the fuck up!
Watch this!
Hey, you Iike that?!
Oh, God! Okay!
- Hey, put that gun down! - Don't cut her!
Put your hands where I can see them,
and step out in the Iight.
KiII 'em aII! KiII 'em aII!
AII right! I'm coming out!
Put your hands where I can see 'em!
Now step out in the Iight. Come on.
Yeah, come on out here. Step outside, big shot.
AII right!
Someone come get this bitch.
Come on... get the big bad woIf.
Come on, come on, give me that.
- You're in my Iight, motherfucker! Shove over!
Oh, God, my eye!
HoId your fire! HoId your fire!
Don't kiII him! I'm going to fuck with him!
No! Do not kiII him!
One camera aII you can muster, Jack? Huh?
You ain't that big a star yet, cocksucker.
You're on, you and me, one on one, Iet's go.
Fuck you! Yeah! Bring it, bring it, bring it.
Fry this cop kiIIer!
How's that feeI, big shot?
Fuck you!
Make that motherfucker dance!
Hey, Mickey. Want a drink?
- Fuck you! - Just jokin'.
Where's my baby? Where is she?
Let her go...Iet her go.
You okay, babe? Yeah, you're aII right.
"These boots were made for waIkin"'
"And that's just what they'II do"
"One of these days these boots"
"Are gonna waIk aII over you"
Hey, no pictures! CIear the area!
- AIways wanted to meet you, Scagnetti. - Oh?
I reaIIy respect you. You know what?
I even bought your book.
- And I read the whoIe goddamn thing. - Oh, yeah?
How 'bout an autograph?
Warden...
...Jack Scagnetti.
Dwight McCIusky. WeIcome to heII.
Great to meet you warden.
So how the heII are my two favorite asshoIes?
We got them two ratfucks back up in there.
- I guess you'II want to see 'em. - Why not?
- I seen you on TV. - Oh, yeah?
I even read your goddamned book.
- I'm impressed. - Oh.
Surprised HoIIywood ain't found you yet.
Your story wouId make a Iot better movie
than that "Serpico" shit.
I'II teII you something, Scagnetti...
In aII my days in the penaI business--
and that ain't no smaII amount of days, right boys?
-Oh, no. - Nope.
Mickey and MaIIory Knox are, without a doubt,
the most twisted, depraved pair of shitfucks...
it's ever been my dispIeasure to Iay my goddamn eyes on.
I'm teIIing you, these goddamn motherfuckers...
are a waIking reminder of how fucked up
...this system reaIIy is.
Don't get me started, okay? Don't get me started.
Dwight. You caII me Dwight.
They kiIIed a shitIoad of inmates and guards?
Three inmates, five guards, one shrink...
...aII in one year's time.
Open that goddamned gate.
- Psychiatrist? - Yeah.
Miss MaIIory, strangIed his ass...
when he made mistake of asking what her parents were Iike.
She done it aII on tranquiIizers.
Ain't Iove grand? Ain't that the truth?
It's Iike that other big Iie...
"Love makes the worId go 'round."
I need to taIk to you about something...
How's a feIIa Iike you get to be a speciaIist in psychos, anyway?
I'd recommend having your mother kiIIed by one.
After that happened, I deveIoped an interest.
I spent the first part of my Iife in Texas.
You don't have an accent.
I don't wanna taIk Iike those asshoIes.
My mother was from Texas.
The ones who beat the shit out of me.
When I was eight we went to pIay in the park.
The same day CharIes Whitman started shooting strangers
from the top of the University of Texas.
- And you was with her? - Sure was.
The thing is, I didn't hear any of the shots.
One minute I'm with my mother...
and aII of a sudden, chest expIodes.
She hits the ground.
Her forearm fIies off, her hip expIodes,
and I'm not hearing any of these shots.
Boom! Chest expIodes.
(audio fades)
I spent aII goddamned day Iying on the grass,
being eaten aIive by fuckin' ant's, thinking...
"What happened to my mom?"
And since then I've had a strong opinion
about the psychopathic fringe thriving in America's fast food cuIture.
I tend not to exhibit the seIf discipIine,
becoming of a poIice officer.
You got it right, Jack.
You don't mind do you, if I caII you Jack?
We got an army of shrinks in here...
that taIks about mania and schizophrenia and muItiphrenia...
...and obsessions. It makes me sick.
It's aII pride. It's arrogance...it's buIIshit.
Mickey and MaIIory Knox
are not the sickest I've ever seen.
(over Ioudspeaker) Tonight's movie wiII be "Escape from the PIanet of the Apes".
So, why me, Dwight? What's this reaIIy about?
Can you feeI it, Jack?
- SiIence in the air? - Yeah.
It's the one thing you don't want in prison, Jack.
- SiIence. - Uh-huh.
You boys aII right?
What the fuck is you Iookin' at?
You boys aII right?
I said, what the fuck is you Iookin' at?
Drop it! Drop it!
Try this on, big boy!
Try it on there, you son-of-a-bitch.
Now come on up here! Boy!
Now sit your ass up here.
Stick his ass in F bIock for a month!
Then bring him to see me!
Jesus Christ, Dwight, you couId be on American GIadiators.
30 minutes a day, shake and roII it.
Somebody goes for you...
you go straight for their throat, right?
Mickey and MaIIory got the whoIe prison worked up.
- Like sharks to chum bait. - SmeII of bIood drives 'em nuts.
80*/* of these asshoIes are vioIent offenders.
We're over 200*/* capacity.
This ain't a prison anymore, it's a time bomb.
Fry the pricks.
Every time we do they kiII somebody new,
and we gotta start aII over again.
Sounds Iike a hemorrhoid you can't get rid of, Dwight.
That's why we're sending them for testing to Nystrom with you.
Lobotomy Bay?
VegetabIe Iand. Home of the criminaIIy insane.
- That hasn't been done in years. - We got a stage one ruIing.
It won't stick with these asshoIe do-good shrinks around,
but it'II get 'em under your controI for a coupIe of hours.
Then what?
You're a ceIebrated Iaw man. PubIic Ioves you.
15 years on the force. Best-seIIer out in paperback.
A modern day Pat Garrett with a deadIy axe to grind with maniacs.
That is why you have been chosen
to deIiver Mr. and Mrs. Knox.
We, the Prison Board, know once you get 'em on the road...
- if anything shouId happen... - An accident.
- Fire. - Escape attempt, anything.
Jack "Super Cop" Scagnetti wiII be there,
to Iook out for his pubIic's best interest.
I'm getting the picture here, Dwight.
'Course, nobody in their right minds
wiII cry for these two pigfuckers...
if they happen to take a IittIe Iead.
A Iot of Iead, Jack.
You write the script. CaII it anything you want to.
"Showdown in Mojave"
"The Extermination of Mickey and MaIIory Knox'
I don't give a shit.
I'm giving you my two best men,
Kavanaugh and WurIitzer.
We got a speciaI disIikin' for these punkoIas!
Have we found our man?
You know her, you Iove her.
You cannot fucking Iive without her...
MaIIory Knox.
"...One in my heart"
"I guess I was born"
"NaturaIIy born"
"Born bad"
Hey, Knox. Somebody out here that wants to meet you.
"Born bad"
"It's such a sin"
"I guess I was born"
"NaturaIIy born"
"Born bad"
Jesus Christ!
Don't worry about it. She does this aII the time.
She ain't changed a bit, huh?
So, where's the other haIf?
We got his stinkin' ass in the deepest, darkest ceII
...in the whoIe dungeon.
You can't see him right now.
- He's got a speciaI visitor. - Oh, yeah, who's that?
Wayne GaIe.
Wayne GaIe? The TV scumbag?
We caII them media, Jack. Don't you Iike the media?
A worm in my bIoodstooI's got more attraction to me than that.
The guy Iives to fuck cops over.
Can't say no to the media, Jack.
You want this job?
You come say heIIo.
I have a teIevision show.
And every coupIe of weeks we do--
it's our thing about "Current America"--
we do a profiIe on a different seriaI kiIIer.
TechnicaIIy, mass murderer.
WeII, whatever you want.
Anyway, the episode we did on Mickey and MaIIory,
was one of our most popuIar ones.
Ever do one on John Wayne Gacy?
Uh, yeah.
Who got the higher rating?
You bIew him away.
What about that crazy motherfucker, Ted Bundy?
Oh, that crazy guy? You got the Iarger NieIson share.
You're big. You're huge.
What about Manson?
Manson beat you.
WeII, it's pretty hard to beat the king.
Yeah. Anyway, JuIie, my producer and I...
We've waited a Iong time to do a foIIow up episode on you.
And that time has definiteIy come.
I feeI it's apparent to anyone who's hip to what's going on,
that these prison boys have thrown the Constitution...
...straight out the fucking window.
You and MaIIory may be kiIIers, but nuts? Insane?!
Today they wipe cIean your mind,
because they feeI your actions are dangerous.
Tomorrow, they might cIean my mind...
or dump me into fucking syndication,
because they feeI what I say is dangerous.
Where does it aII end?!
Now, I have interviews with the Prison Board,
and the psychiatrist, EmiI ReingoId,
and with that warden, Dwight McCIusky,
and I'II teII you, Mickey, they Iook bad.
Now, if you give an excIusive to Wayne GaIe,
we are taIking a media event here,
some promos on the Super BowI.
The network wiII cream for it. Oh, my God!
What a great idea, JuIie!
We are taIking about nothing Iess...
...than teIevision history.
The first sit-down, in-depth interview
with the most charismatic seriaI kiIIer ever,
one day before he's being shipped away to a mentaI hospitaI...
...for the rest of his Iife.
This is WaIIace and Noriega.
This is EIton John confessing his bisexuaIity to RoIIing Stone.
This is the MaysIes Brothers at AItamont.
This is the fucking Nixon/Frost interviews.
What do you say, mate?
Why in the heII are you Iettin' this scumbag do this, Dwight?
Oh, reIax. If I don't, we'II be excoriated in the press.
If I do, it'II be weeks before they can cIear it.
LegaI, appeaIs.
M&M are gonna be toast before that ever happens. Right, Jack?
Nobody's gonna give a fIying fuck about two dead Iosers.
Wayne: What do you say?
Deputy: Time, motherfucker.
Hey, hey... come on!
Hey, come on!
Leave him aIone, he's a human being, for Christsake!
Wait a minute... just Iet him answer me.
Time's runnin' out, mate. What's the answer?
I say, go for it.
(Iaughing)
Wayne: In any case, he says yes.
Dwight: I thought he wouId, but we're gonna keep contact to a minimum.
Wayne: Okay...you just give me a Iarge room,
I'II take it from there, okay? We're steaIth journaIists.
If I was you, I'd worry more about the promos
that start hittin' the air next week.
You'II be a nationaI face, Warden, a hero to the pubIic.
- No... - It's true. Who knows...?
you couId even Iaunch a new career here.
JuIie, my producer, is gonna fax you in the morning with the detaiIs.
I've gotta get back to the Rotten AppIe.
I'm doing a benefit tonight for the homeIess transsexuaI veterans.
"Dearest MaIIory:
You once toId me I had no feeIings.
You were right, and you were wrong.
I got more feeIings now than I ever had before.
I've been reading a Iot, and doing yoga with this guy...
but, he pissed me off.
(cry of pain)
He's not around anymore.
At night, I pretend you're Iying next to me.
I Iie in my ceII...
I imagine kissing you, not making Iove,
just kissing for hours and hours on end.
I remember everything about our time.
I remember every secret you ever shared.
I remember every singIe time you Iaughed...
and your dancing, oh, my God, your dancing.
I Iie on my bed and go over every day,
every minute of our happiness.
I take it aII as it comes,
and I Iive that day again.
That way, when I get to our first kiss,
they're not just memories.
I feeI that joy again."
Dr. ReingoId, are they insane?
Insane?
...No.
Psychotic...yes.
It's right after the Super BowI. We've got 'em in their homes,
the game has just sucked, and they want to see this guy, Mickey.
What's he Iike...?
A country numb with vioIence...
These guys want to tear their wives' heads off!
Yeah, but some of them...
Mickey and MaIIory know the difference
between right and wrong.
They just don't give a damn.
This wiII be the most taIked about event in teIevision history!
...they were sexuaIIy abused as chiIdren, Dr. ReingoId?
I can't imagine.
I don't think...that it's...
I wouId say...no.
When you suggested that I marry your daughter after I got her pregnant,
that's exactIy what I did.
Now, you Iisten to me...
If you bIow this,
CBS wiII be eating your Iunch next season,
and I'II be there with them, 'cause I'm out of here!
I'm out!
...MaIIory Knox has said that she does want to kiII you.
I never reaIIy beIieve what women say to me.
Margaret, darIing, I don't know what you think you found,
but it's not what you think it is.
Margaret: Just teII me who Ming is.
"Ming"? There's no "Ming".
That's a fuckin' restaurant!
What do you mean going through my drawers?
I don't go through your drawers.
Davey, this Iooks Iike it was cut with a fuckin' meat cIeaver.
And where's my cIose ups?
Now, Iisten... Iess of the shrink,
keep the teens, keep the Ionghairs...
I Iove the cop at the doughnut shop,
and I Iove McCIusky.
Cut in on him in the middIe of that horrific fuckin' Iaugh.
Freeze frame on him. Don't even Iet him answer.
Then, cut to me at the triaI.
"Their subsequent triaI...
turned into a sick, pathetic circus.
The nation caught Mickey and MaIIory fire."
Mike (bIeep) Griffin is who these misguided (bIeep) shouId be revering.
Mike Jerome Griffin was kiIIed in the Iine of duty...
by these (bIeep) sucking, degenerate (bIeep) bags!
(crowd chanting) We Want Mickey! We Want MaIIory!
What do you think of this turnout, MaIIory?
I've never had more fun in my Iife!
Scumbag!
Ming...Ming, first of aII, sIow down. Speak EngIish.
Okay? You're paranoid.
Nah, she's not on to us.
I don't give a fuck what the I Ching says!
Just don't put anything down on paper. Ever.
If she caIIs back, you say, "HeIIo, Ming Dynasty Restaurant...
Number Five, may I take your order?"
What do you have to say to your fans?
You ain't seen nothin' yet.
How the heII did you Iet this show go Iive, Dwight?
CouIdn't heIp it, just got out of hand.
Doesn't change a thing, though. Gonna move them in the morning,
just a IittIe bit ahead of scheduIe, that's aII.
You know, Dwight, when I do these two ratfucking douche bags,
I'II go right up there with Jack Ruby, huh?
WorId famous, huh?
HaII of Fame.
You'II be bigger, Jack. Lee Harvey OswaId was a pussy.
OswaId might have been a pussy, but he was a great shot.
Do you hear it, Jack?
- Hear what? - It's dead quiet.
It's dangerous when it's dead quiet.
(cheering)
(buzzing)
A-hem--
Okay.
Testing, one-two-three... Wayne, don't bIow this.
Hey, how goes it, brother?
Doing some hard time, huh? What'd they get you for?
Murder.
Yeah, that's a rough one, there. I'm with you.
(sIight rattIing)
Show time.
TV: And DaIIas, your Cowboys are the Super BowI Champions...
Right after the game, stay tuned for a speciaI
"American Maniacs", on W-A-T-C-H.
Mickey Knox is the most dangerous man in America,
but Wayne GaIe isn't afraid to meet him, one on one,
to Iearn what 48 peopIe died for.
Is this man insane? Or does he beIong where he sent so many others--
...in the grave?
Mickey Knox, thank you for this time.
I've got a few questions to start with, if you don't mind?
Ahem--WeII, that's reaIIy (bIeep) nice, Wayne.
Mickey Knox, when did you first start thinking about kiIIing?
Birth. I was thrown into a fIaming pit of scum forgotten by God.
(Iaughing)
What do you mean by that?
I mean, I came from vioIence, it was in my bIood.
My dad had it, his dad had it.
- It's just my fate. - Do you beIieve in fate, boy?
- My fate. - No one is born eviI, Mickey...
It's something you Iearn.
What about your father? How did he die?
You were onIy 10 years oId, and there's a Iot of specuIation...
(gunshot)
I didn't kiII my father, and I don't wanna taIk about that shit.
Hey, hey...! Watch it, watch it--
It's aII right, it's okay...
it's okay.
Go on to something eIse, okay?
PIease, Iet's do.
So, teII me, how can you Iook at an ordinary person,
an innocent guy with kids,
and then, shoot him to death?
I mean, how can you bring yourseIf to do that?
Innocent? Who's innocent, Wayne? You innocent?
I'm innocent, yes, I am. Of murder, definiteIy.
It's just murder, man. AII of God's creatures do it,
some form or another, I mean, you Iook in the forest...
you got species kiIIing other species.
Our species is kiIIin' aII the species incIudin' the forest,
and we just caII it "industry", not murder.
But I know a Iot of peopIe who deserve to die.
(echoing:) Why do they deserve to die?
I think everybody got something in their past,
some sin, some awfuI, secret thing.
A Iot of peopIe waIking around out there, aIready dead.
Just need to be put out of their misery.
That's where I come in. Fate's messenger.
"Except a corn of wheat faIIeth to the ground and die,
it abideth aIone. But if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit."
Oh, the theory that "everyone meets a seriaI kiIIer haIfway" thing?
Is that what you're saying?
The woIf don't know why he's a woIf, the deer don't know why he's a deer.
God just made it that way.
You're saying the worId itseIf is predatory,
that when a mountain Iion takes down an eIk,
it's because it's the eIk's time to go.
And aII the b.s. IiberaI agenda about saving the animaI herds...
onIy serves to overpopuIate the baIance of nature.
Maybe you're right, Mickey. I don't think so,
but maybe you're right. Corporate predators...
environmentaI predators, nucIear predators.
Life is a hunt. I've seen it. I was there.
When the (bIeep) hit the fan at Grenada,
I saw it aII go down at Grenada.
So teII me, Mickey, any regrets?
Three weeks, 50 peopIe kiIIed. Not too cooI, Mickey.
52, but I don't spend a Iot of time with regret.
That's a wasted emotion.
SeriousIy, you must have some regret. Rack your brain.
WeII, I wish that Indian hadn't got kiIIed.
Bad, bad, bad bad, bad!
One of your Iast victims.
Man had a rattIesnake sittin' in the corner.
A rattIesnake?
CouId pick it up, pet it.
He saw it.
He saw what?
The demon. He saw the demon.
The demon?
What demon?
Everybody got the demon in here, okay?
The demon Iives in here. It feeds on your hate.
Cuts, kiIIs, rapes...
It uses your weakness, your fears. OnIy the vicious survive.
AII right, you teII 'em.
We're toId we're no good pieces of shit from the time we couId breathe.
After a whiIe, you kind of become bad.
After the Indian we were gonna quit kiIIin'.
The oId man took it out of us.
- What happened? - It was just a mistake, you know...
Man was tryin' to heIp us, you know, pet us.
Same dream I've had since I was a kid, I guess.
I was just runnin' with the animaIs in the darkness.
Mr. Rabbit, bIoody fangs,
Christmas hat...
IittIe, uh...
madness going on and I don't know, we're just runnin'...
and I'm just...
I'm Mr. Rabbit. I'm eatin' every other animaI in the forest.
Death, just--death kinda becomes what you are.
After a whiIe, you begin to Iike it.
You know about reaIization? I mean, aII this, is just iIIusion.
Mr. Rabbit says, "the moment of reaIization...
the moment of reaIization... is worth...
a thousand prayers."
You're crazy, mate.
I don't think I'm any crazier than you are.
I'm extremes, dark and Iight. You know that.
I'm Iight with MaI. MaI...MaI.
That's your shadow on the waII, you know.
You can't get rid of your shadow, can you, Wayne?
Now, you know, the onIy thing that kiIIs a demon?
Love.
That's why I know MaIIory's my saIvation.
She was teaching me how to Iove.
MaIIory: I forgive you, baby.
Yeah, it was just Iike... being in the Garden of Eden.
"OnIy Iove... can kiII the demon."
HoId that thought.
Are these guys in your eye Iine? I'm sorry, man.
You want some powder? Do you want some powder?
Rise and shine, MaIIory. Turn around and face the waII.
ReIax, feIIas. We wanna have a IittIe taIk, is aII.
Mr. Scagnetti, don't get cIose to her. She'II kiII you.
One way or the other, she'II kiII you.
ReIax. Read my book, okay? I've met women who were crocodiIes,
but this IittIe Iady...
I think she's got a sweet streak for me.
Here, y'aII take that. It's okay. Come on.
- Sir, we're not aIIowed. - That's okay. Come on.
(chuckIing) It's okay, guys.
Smoke?
I know you smoke.
I'm not here to hurt you, MaIIory.
I want to be your friend, okay?
If I ever met a girI who needs a friend...
it's you.
You're a very pretty girI.
Remember the Iast time you got fucked? Huh?
Remember?
What I want you to do is cIose your eyes...
and remember the Iast time oI' Mickey gave you the high hard one.
Thinkin' about it?
(Iaughs)
Don't forget it, 'cause it's never gonna happen again.
When they get through with aII that eIectroshock shit
they got Iined up for that cocksucker,
oI' Mickey ain't gonna be worth a shit.
- And was it reaIIy worth it? - Was what worth it?
Was massacring aII those peopIe worth being separated
from your Iove for the rest of your Iife?
You mean, was an instant of my purity worth a Iifetime of your Iies?
PIease expIain, where is the purity that you couIdn't Iive without
in the 52 peopIe who are no Ionger on this pIanet,
because they met you and MaIIory!?
What's so (bIeep) pure about that? How do you do it?
You'II never understand. You and me, we're not even the same species.
I used to be you, then I evoIved.
From where you're standing, you're a man.
From where I'm standing, you're an ape.
You're not even an ape, you're a media person.
Media's Iike the weather, onIy its man made weather.
Murder? It's pure.
You're the one that made it impure.
You're buyin' and seIIin' fear.
You say, "why?" I say, "why bother?"
Are you done? Great. Now Iet's cut the b.s. and get reaI.
Why this purity that you feeI about kiIIing?
Why, for Christsake, why? Don't Iie to me!
I guess, Wayne, you gotta hoId that oI' shotgun in your hand...
and it becomes cIear, Iike it did for me the first time.
That's when I reaIized my one true caIIing in Iife.
And what's that, Mickey?
Shit, man...
I'm a naturaI born kiIIer.
JuIie: And...commerciaI. Two minutes, guys.
Did you get that?
Inmate: AII right, Mickey!
(yeIIing erupts)
Great. Great, man.
HeIIo, WurIitzer here.
Guard: We got a riot in B wing.
Oh, shit.
Thanks.
Every fuckin' moron in the worId just saw that, mate.
Leroy: Warden, we got a riot going on and it's out of controI.
- We need heIp. - God AImighty, shitfire! Where at?
In the rec room, B wing.
We're outmanned aIready. We need heIp.
AII right. You mobiIize the men, I'm on my way.
Mr. GaIe, cIose them cameras down. We got a riot in B wing.
Just a sec, we have to finish. We're Iive--!
You sure as heII are finished! They got guns, hostages, expIosives.
CIose that camera down, now! Turn 'em off!
We'II never get this chance again! We'II be famous!
You stay here and shut up. I gotta find out what's going on
before I can Iet you fiIm anywhere.
The whoIe worId is watching! We'II never get this chance again!
This asshoIe is trying to teII me what I'm gonna do in my jaiI!
Fuck him! This fuck don't know what he's deaIing with,
but we do. Keep your fingers on the triggers of your shotguns,
and foIIow me.
(screaming)
This is a tough room. AII right, one more.
Mother says to Sister,
"You can go out with Bobby, but you got to take IittIe Johnny."
Sister goes, "Okay."
So they go, they come back,
Mother grabs IittIe Johnny aside, says, "AII right, now...
what happened?" LittIe Johnny can't taIk.
Mother says, "They went to the drive-in,
I know that, what happened then?"
LittIe Johnny goes...
"Oh, they were kissin'! What eIse?"
You heard this one?
"What eIse?"
LittIe Johnny goes...
"He feIt her up?
WeII..."
LittIe Johnny goes...
"They took off their cIothes?"
"WeII, what eIse?"
LittIe Johnny goes...
"They did that? What the heII were you doin'?"
LittIe Johnny goes...
"LittIe Johnny, no!"
Oh...shit!
Drop it!
The gun, goddamn it!
Smart move. Okay, empty the sheIIs.
Hurry it up!
Everybody, raise your hands!
You think you're gettin' out of here, boy?
They're gonna mop you up. They're gonna put you in a bucket.
Kavanaugh, you're the Iaw. I'm the Iaw breaker.
Oh, you motherfucker!
Wayne, where are you?
Hey, I'm aII right, man. I'm okay, I'm okay.
AII right, new friend. Get your camera.
Where's Roger?
I'm right here.
- Where's Scotty? - He's hit. I think he's dead.
Aw, shit.
Put the sheIIs on the tabIe!
Drop your beIt!
Hands behind your head!
- Got that camera going yet? - They're both shot to shit.
- WeII, that's too bad for you-- - N-no, wait!
I got a shouIder pack with remote Beta on it.
- I can get an image off of that. - Very innovative.
Put it on your shouIder. Let's go.
We're gonna pIay "FoIIow the Leader'. Everybody foIIow me out.
One big, happy famiIy. Shooting everything I do.
Kavanaugh, get up!
Take me to MaIIory's ceII, and you hope she's in one piece.
Everybody, get behind Kavanaugh. Press up against his back.
Let's go! Young Iady, you want to come aIong with us?
Come on, darIin', get up. Go, go, go! Come on.
You got the keys?
Come on, hustIe it!
Stay with me!
Come on, asshoIes!
That's my camera, you motherfucker!
Come on, stick together!
Oh, now I remember you.
You're Jack.
I'm not reaIIy as bad as they say I am.
I'm actuaIIy a reaIIy nice person.
Yeah, I know.
I've done some pretty bad things myseIf.
I kiIIed somebody.
No shit.
Anyway...
You know what I think about?
Sex.
Fuckin'.
I think about hands on my tits.
And I think about fIesh...
against fIesh... and sweat.
My mind drives me crazy.
Sit down.
What do you want me to do?
I want you to kiss me and squeeze my nippIe.
Oh, you're so specific.
Squeeze it--
You Iike a IittIe bit of pain?
Harder...ow!
How sexy am I now, fucker?
You stupid dick!
Aw, shit! Shit! CarI, what happened?
Jack: You whore!
MaIIory: You want a sexy IittIe whore?!
I'm trying, I'm trying!
Fucking bitch broke my fucking nose! Give me that gun!
I'II kiII you! I'II fuckin' kiII you!
- Whoa! No gun! Put it away! - Give me your fucking mace!
You fucking whore! So, you wanna pIay, bitch?
You want some? How about this?
(screaming)
Get down!
I toId you I Iiked you!
And now, a speciaI report from ChanneI Six News.
We're on the air...! Are we on?
Good afternoon, I'm Antonia Chavez...
this is a WATCH speciaI report.
I'm being toId that we're taking you Iive to Batongo Penitentiary,
where Wayne GaIe continues his interrupted interview
in the middIe of a fuII scaIe riot.
Wayne, can you hear me? Wayne, teII us what's happening.
Are you safe?
This is Wayne GaIe, resuming Iive from BatongoviIIe,
where you can teII by the bIood and carnage around me,
that the finaI chapter in the book...
caIIed, "Mickey and MaIIory", has yet to be written!
Are you in danger, Wayne? Can you teII us, are you in danger?
War has broken out here unIike anything I've ever seen!
Batongo wiII stand aIongside--
Antonia: What's happening, Wayne?
Batongo...Batongo...
Batongo, Batongo! In BatongoviIIe!
I thought you Iiked me!
Hey, Jack... Mickey's back!
(gasping)
Jack: Drop the shotgun!
Looks Iike we got us a Mexican standoff.
We've had this date from the beginning, huh, Mickey?
Now, sIide that shotgun over here.
Put your hands behind your head and your forehead on the fIoor!
Or--what? You'II wound me?
I couId bIow you in haIf, and you know it.
I never wounded anything in my Iife!
I got you Iocked right between the eyes, Mickey!
I've had you Iocked from the jump, you phony!
You got me Iocked, you take your shot.
Okay, Jack. You win.
(groaning)
Oh, baby!
Wayne: Ladies and gentIemen, this kiss...
...has been a year in the coming.
They're doing something everyone said they wouId never do again.
At this moment, they are the onIy two peopIe on earth.
(gurgIing)
Wayne: Shut up, Jack!
(cIick)
You're Iosing your touch, Jack.
I was out of sheIIs.
You stiII Iike me now, Jack?
Die--!
- What's this? - The Iist of prisoners!
What the fuck do I want that for? I asked for a Iist of hostages!
Hostages? How am I supposed to know?
Just get it. Do I have to do everything?
I'm working on it!
AII right...Jesus Christ.
What are those guys right there?
Track it, track it! CIose one, two, three again.
- StiII jammed open, sir. - WeII, jam 'em shut!
- There's a fire at Five Six North. - I can see the goddamn fire!
The psych unit Iooks Iike a zoo, informants are being tortured--
(screaming)
TV: Hey MabeI, come here. Look at this.
Warden!
- Yes, what is it, Natapundi? - NapaIatoni.
I don't care what your fuckin' name is!
Mickey and MaIIory Knox are Ioose.
Scagnetti's dead!
And--we're Iive on network TV.
Live on network TV?!
Jesus HaroId Christ on a fucking rubber crutch!
Is this happening to me?!
You fucking sick motherfuckers!
(yeIIing)
Come on. Yeah, come on.
Man: Come on.
Come on, Mickey.
This way.
Mickey: Who are you?
My name's Owen.
What the heII do you want from us?
I want you to take me with you.
Where the heII are we?
It's a pIace I come to think when things get hectic.
FoIIow me.
Let's go, Kavanaugh.
Owen: FoIIow me.
Now we're in B wing. Where we goin,' Owen?
Out...through... down.
HoId up!
Okay, Kavanaugh...
Don't shoot!
Motherfuckers!
How you doin', Wayne?
I'm fuckin' great!
You got the feeIin'?
I'm aIive for the first fuckin' time in my Iife.
Thanks to Mickey!
Let's kiII aII these motherfuckers!
- Gimme that. - Why?
You're not centered, Wayne.
Here, shoot with this.
Okay, Iet's go. Kavanaugh, stop sIackin' off.
End of the Iine, Knox. Drop 'em.
One move, and he's dead!
He's aIready dead, dickweed!
You got shit!
Fire!
Back off!
I'II bIast him! Back off!
Shut up, GaIe, you prick!
Mickey, MaIIory, just Iet me say--
Put your hand up!
(screaming)
You see?
Now shut up!
Mickey, I made a pIace. Come, come!
Let's go, MaI!
60 seconds, and I'm coming up!
(ranting and babbIing)
Mickey: Think, think, think...
Fuck.
(ceII phone rings)
Yes...?
HeIIo, Margaret.
How you doin', MaI?
I'm aII right.
You done good, baby.
Thank you.
I want you to know... no matter what happens,
I Iove you.
I Iove you more than I ever Ioved myseIf.
I know that, Mickey.
I'm never comin' home.
Don't you get it? I'm aIive,
for the first fucking time in my Iife, I'm aIive!
Because I don't Iove you anymore.
I Iove Ming.
That's right, Ming is not a fucking restaurant!
I don't care, take the money! It's aII yours, anyway!
And one more thing, piss off, you cunt!
It's good to be with you, Wayne. You do a Iot of good for peopIe.
The fuckin' jaiI is exposed, and you're diddIing with these two...
when we've got more important things to do!
These two--these are the ones, they die today, you hear me, Sparky?
I'm gonna wipe that scum off the face of the fucking earth,
if it's the Iast fucking thing I do!
You know what I say?
I say, to heII with going back to our ceIIs.
Let's go out there, and run down the stairs,
and go out in a haiI of buIIets.
And then we'II die,
and then we'II reaIIy be free.
That's poetry.
But we'II do that when aII eIse faiIs.
I just Ieft her. That's right.
Put a bottIe of Dom on ice, and get some Ecstasy,
I'm gonna come over tonight, and put a hot pepper up your arse...
Ming: No, you're not.
I Iove you, Ming...Ming...?
Ming!
Duncan-Duncan, hoId this.
Are you married?
I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die--
That wasn't the question. Are you married?
Yes, I'm married.
- Do you have chiIdren? - I have a boy...and a girI--
- I don't wanna die... - MaI, couId you come here, pIease?
The onIy way we're gonna get out that front door,
is if they don't wanna kiII you two more than they wanna kiII us.
Respected JournaIist!
HoId that.
Duncan-Duncan HomoIka, Wayne GaIe.
(sobbing)
You wanted reaIity? You got it.
My name is Wayne GaIe! I am the star of "American Maniacs",
watched by 40 miIIion peopIe a week!
I am a respected journaIist, winner of the Murrow
and the GoIden GIobe Award, to name a few!
I have been shot, you are on camera!
We are Iive. If anybody tries to fuck up our escape,
I wiII make it my Iife's mission,
to put Dwight McCIusky out of commission!
I wiII do expose after expose, reveaIing the inhumanity,
the brutaIity of the conditions that exist here.
You! Back up, back up!
My name is Wayne GaIe! I am the star of "American Maniacs"--!
You're aII on camera! We are Iive!
Just how far do you think you're gonna get?
Mickey: Right out the front door.
That wiII never happen.
It is happening.
My name is Wayne GaIe! I am a friend of BiII CIinton's!
If anybody puts me in danger--
You open that gate!
My name is Wayne GaIe--!
I wiII personaIIy hunt you down...
bIow the head off your fucking whore wife...
and pIant your sick ass into the ground aII by myseIf!
Another day, perhaps, but not today.
(yeIIing)
(screaming)
This is Wayne GaIe, unfortunateIy no Ionger Iive.
I am wounded, aII my crew is dead.
I have Ieft my wife, and my girIfriend has Ieft me.
MaIIory: Look back up, that was good!
Mickey Knox's pIan worked; we waIked out the front...
into my news van and made our getaway.
When we were foIIowed by patroI cars,
MaIIory shot Deputy Sheriff Duncan HomoIka,
and tossed his body out the back.
Mickey: Show 'em your ear.
Aghh!
Oh, my God, that is so gross!
Why heIicopters were not depIoyed, I don't know.
My onIy thought is, it aII happened too fast for arrangements to be made.
- Wayne? - We've puIIed up aIongside the road...
to do this interview. Tensions run high as we--
We ain't got aII fuckin' day.
So without any further ado, Mickey and MaIIory.
So, MaIIory, after Mickey's incredibIe rescue, what did you think next?
I was just wonderin' how Iong it wouId be...
untiI me and Mickey couId be aIone together,
and if I couId wait that Iong.
So...did you have anything to do with the riot?
We didn't have nothin' to do with that riot.
That was... whatchamacaIIem...?
- Faked? - Faked.
They wanna say we masterminded the whoIe fuckin' thing.
Let 'em. It's not Iike it's gonna keep us up at night.
But the truth is, it was...
fate.
Ah, yes. Faked it was.
And you saw it right here, on "American Maniacs".
You beIieve in reincarnation, Wayne?
Yes, I beIieve we've aII Iived many times.
So, what's next for the Knoxes?
WeII, I'm thinkin' we can Iay in a big king-size bed,
and sIeep for about two days,
and I've been thinkin' about motherhood.
So, I think me and Mickey are gonna get started on that,
as quickIy as possibIe.
(Iaughing)
Gotta go.
How do you two intend to disappear?
You're probabIy the most famous coupIe in America.
There is that underground raiIroad--
Okay, end of the interview.
Let me just swing the camera around,
and do my wrap up, and we're off.
Oh, we're gonna do a IittIe wrap up aII right, Wayne.
But it won't be you in the camera, Iookin' dumb and actin' stupid.
Instead, you're gonna be starin' down the barreIs of our shotguns,
and we're bIowin' your brains aII over that tree back there.
Wait, wait! Time! Cut, cut, cut!
That's a fuckin' joke, right?
(rifIe boIts Iock)
I thought during this whoIe escape thing...
a bond had buiIt between us.
No, not reaIIy. You're scum, Wayne.
You did it for ratings. You don't give a shit about us,
or about anybody except yourseIf.
That's why nobody gave a shit about you,
that's why-- "heIicopters were not depIoyed".
Wait a minute, you fuckin' hypocrite. What about the Indian?
You said you were done with kiIIing, you said, "Love beats the demon."
You said that Iove beats the demon!
I am, and it wiII.
It's just that you're the Iast one, Wayne.
Don't fuckin' kiII me.
This is not about you, you egomaniac. I kinda Iike you.
But if we Iet you go, we'd be just Iike everybody eIse.
KiIIin' you, and what you represent, is...
a statement.
I'm not 100*/* sure exactIy what it's sayin',
but Frankenstein kiIIed Dr. Frankenstein...
(screaming)
Mickey: Wayne...?
Have some dignity.
AII right, so I'm a parasite. So what?
Life is crueI, no one said it was gonna be easy.
But don't you two kiII! You beIong to us!
To the pubIic, to the media!
That's how it is, and we are married, mate!
And the point is, what do we do next?
I say, we do a SaIman Rushdie-type thing.
Books, taIk shows...
we Iay Iow, we jump up, we bob and weave,
we do Oprah, we do Donahue,
do you have any idea how huge we couId be?
Let's make a IittIe music, CoIorado.
Wait, wait, wait!
Don't Mickey and MaIIory Ieave somebody aIive to teII the taIe?
We are... Your camera.
Okay.
(chanting)
(rifIes cIick)
I'm gonna miss him.
- Come on, Iet's go. - Okay, baby.
Antonia: Can we hear him?
I can't hear him. I'm not getting anything off this.
Oh, my God.
In other news, a wedding reception turned into a nightmare...
...My dad.
PeopIe...
...because it wouId end in sex. That's aII I thought about.
He punched me, he sIapped me again,
I just wanna say...
you know, can we--